Behold the Plastic Princess

Have you recovered from Halloween? Let me rephrase that: are you still getting lost in the candy bowl because not enough little ghouls and goblins showed up to devour the chocolate stashed in your pantry that now resides in your grateful though expanded tummy?

I thought so.

Halloween has come and gone, but not my latest Kuhnspiration question posed:

What is your fondest Halloween memory and what stands out most about celebrating or not being able to celebrate the holiday as a kid?

Did you reflect on your own past Halloweens as a child? It’s hard not to when you’re bombarded with images of cute little pirates, fiesty ninja warriors and every imaginable Disney, Marvel or D.C. character under the spooky moon…ooooooooh.

Halloween as a kid was never really a big deal for me. One – because candy was available at other times of the year, too, which may explain why I’ve always been a pudgy little kid. Hmm. So it wasn’t all about the candy. And two – I grew up in a household that dispelled early childhood myths right away – leprachauns, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, that Santa dude. Yeah, they weren’t really longstanding traditions either, so I wasn’t encouraged to get lost in Halloween and let my imagination spark some fun, colorful costume ideas.

I’m pretty sure when I was a little toddler, my mom dressed me as a cowgirl or something similarly horrifying but I had no control of it. Once I got older, it was the tried and true. No, not a ghost or witch, though I would have welcomed it if only for the sheer comfort of the clothing. Nope, I chose the completely pointless…princess. And not the groovy kind with the tiara and fancy wand. No, not at all. I recall a plastic “outfit” that draped over your clothes like a shower curtain and best of all, the costume featured that terrifying and probably toxic…plastic princess mask.

This is not my mask. I don’t have any pictures of it or me in it (thankfully). And if anyone tells you otherwise about me, don’t believe them. It’s all lies. Lies, I tell you!

They didn’t have all of those cute Disney options for costumes that they do now for much much younger fans – like Belle in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST or The Little Mermaid or Mulan from their respective films. Not at all. We just had — princess. Period. As if that alone made any kind of statement. The only statement it made to me was: “We are really dirt poor, so please feel sorry for me and give me extra candy, okay?”

Seriously, this mask shown here comes pretty darn close to representing the horrifying visual of the core piece of my “costume” (if you can call it that) and if you look really closely, you’ll see some tears in the plastic – by the cheek and by the neck/chin region. This was common. I certainly had rips in mine, perfect for shredding young, delicate skin. Of course, I was also asked to wear it for a few years. I gave up on it after two. I didn’t want to impale myself anymore. I know, I know. I was funny that way.

I never understood the concept of Halloween. Going from door to door to who were typically perfect strangers who just happened to live on your block and begging (not asking, not requesting, but basically BEGGING) for candy or something dastardly or evil, given the whole option of trick or treat. Just once, I wanted to show up on someone’s doorstep and shout “Treat or Treat!”

I’m not unhappy that Halloween is over this year (and for me, in general, as I don’t typically dress up or attend/host Halloween parties. If you do, good for you, but for me, I have a hard enough time just dressing as me. Being creative enough to come up with something else is a taxing chore. One year, we had an 80s theme at work and I went as Rambo. Another year, I tried to get creative and went as a Cereal Killer with little boxes of Post and General Mills favorites and bowls and spoons all over my shirt – with fake blood splattered, too. Of course. DUH. Another year we had to pick someone from recent news stories – I went as the runaway bride who made headlines earlier that year. My hubs and I went on one of our first social events together as a couple as Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. (I’ll let you guess who played whom.)

Halloween can be fun if you want to get creative and lose yourself (and your inhibitions) in it. Maybe I appreciate that aspect a little more now than I did within the clutches of my dangerously scratchy and tacky costume imploring potential predatory adults to give me candy – something you always want your kid to do, right? Um, yeah, no not really.

What memories come to mind when you think about Halloween as a kid?  And how do you view the holiday today?

I’m happy that it has come and gone and that we are in the lovely month of November, although the concept that Thanksgiving is less than three weeks away is giving me chills. Seriously.

Thanks for reading.

Cheers to finding that daily spark in your life!
~Chris

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1 Comment

  1. […] Behold the Plastic Princess (Nov. 5) […]


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